I feel negative energy from Facebook. It calls my name on my bookmark bar and once a week or so I give in an check it out, at least to accept the friend requests from high school acquaintances, college buddies and triathlon friends. Quickly, though, I end up looking at photos of people I briefly knew, and get trampled by feelings of self-doubt, jealousy and regret. I'm smacked with a feeling of inadequacy, seeing everyone's successes in pictures, in wall-to-wall comments about exciting jobs, weddings, new babies, purchased houses and adventurous weekend adventures.
I have to then purge my negative feelings, reminding myself that I have a great job, a fun bunch of friends and a list of 30 other wonderful things in my life. There's nothing wrong here.
It's overwhelming to see lists of people from long ago and recent meetings all in one place, all of them creating an advertisement for their lives that hopes to convince, "I have a great life, worthy of someone scrolling all the way to the bottom".
I leave the website with an unsettling thought: If I'm doing all the things I really want to do, I won't have time to post pictures and write on walls. This is my hope.
CDA: complete!
15:42, sporting my finisher hat
2 comments:
Facebook is lame. I'm almost horrified about the people who I barely know (now) who want to be "friends" or *ack* chat with me. I check it fairly often though. I think you're pretty nifty - for what it's worth.
Perspective is a funny thing. As I was in the water with you and Jay yesterday, I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous about your life with a boyfriend that is obviously crazy about you, a Dad that takes you out on the boat every weekend and buys you and your friends crabs, an awesome dog that's so close to being a water dog, your ability to bike up those blasted hills AND dive in the water, etc. I had to remind myself that I've got really good things in my life as well.
I think it's just so easy to compare our insides to other people's outsides that we forget everyone has their own struggles. I know that sounds cliche, but cliches are cliches for a reason!
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