I won't beat around the bush with this one. I'm not world's best writer but I pretend sometimes. Now isn't the time for fancy stuff. Here goes...
I discovered early this morning that I'm not fat. I've never been fat. I'm not comfortably over-weight or pudgy or thick. I'm normal and muscular. I CAN kick your ass but I'm too nice to hit anyone. I've been telling myself since I was 14 that I'm too big for my skin (echoing a coach's response when I tried out for his national training team in 1992). I think it started there and I've escalated that so far that it has become a part of my identity.
I can do flips and handstands on chairs and run Ironmans (okay, that was only once but I COULD do it again if I wanted to) and dance salsa and ride my bike to work and STILL do my voluntary dives on 3-meter. My students think I'm cool and the other teachers call me 'the active one' which kind of puts me out of the normal realm in the teaching realm because that means I have to finish all my grading before I leave because I'm not about to lug 46 binders in my backpack.
I read Cathy this morning in the funnies and realized 'HOW RIDICULOUS' that she's been writing about these 'feminine woes' for what seems like decades.
I'd like to be more sophisticated. And nice. And ...
I am who I am. No more excuses. No more rationalizing. No more stories. This is life.
2 comments:
Anyone that can do an IM is not fat, over weight or pudgy!!! From the pics you have posted you are a very attractive woman, who happens to be a pretty good blog writer. Keep up the good work.
I know that feeling. I'm still working on it! I'm not fat; I'm stocky and strong and solid and I can finish an Ironman and an ultra. Yay!
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